It’s Cams turn to be apart of the world while I plot the death of Dora the Explorer..
Mitchell, Modern Family
I still can’t believe my best friend threw me a surprise party. I just can’t get over that it actually happened. I think if there wasn’t still confetti everywhere id think it was a dream. Nothing could possibly ever top that.
I’m not good. I don’t know why people have to pretend to be good, nobody’s good.
Tennessee Williams, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof
Meh why do I have such a messed up sleeping pattern….
My house is an absolute disaster being as I lack the cleaning supplies a normal person should have I’m sure it will take me all week to clean and it’s so worth it. I have never ever had a friend who tried so hard to make sure id enjoy my birthday and I’m so incredibly grateful to have such a beautiful wonderful person in my life. I haven’t enjoyed m birthday in years, in fact I dread it. I cried the night before my birthday at the thought of spending another year alone in the way that I have for years and now I can honestly say I will not feel that way next year. You have no idea how much you have positively impacted my life in the past year more than any friend I’ve ever had and I hope you know how much I truly mean that. You are beautiful and funny and smart. You put so much of yourself into helping others and making sure everyone is happy and I love you so much for that but never forget your happiness is just as important as everyone elses and I hope you find that happiness as quickly as possible because ill never wish anything but the best for you. Its so easy to say you deserve better but no matter how many times a person is told that it doesnt change anything wjen you care about someone so strongly. I hppe that.one.day that dumbass realizes that but if he doesnt it doesnt mean you wont find something greater. I had so much fun last night and it didn’t even matter that uninvited people showed up or that my ceiling is broken because I’ve learned to ignore the things that don’t matter and enjoy the people surrounding me. I am so blessed to have such incredible friends I don’t think I’ve ever felt as loved or important as I did last night it means so much to me that my friends were all there to support me. The only thing left I’m curious about is why he helped because in my mind helping to plan something someone would barely be apart of definitely shows that he does care and how the hell am I ever going to hate someone who continues to give me reasons not to. so fricken wishy washy throwinf out bait and taking it back at the last minute. How can I let go of this feeling that I’m right about the whole damn thing and I can’t do anything about it. It’s so unfair to break someones heart, especially over someone I actually do hate and then be so nice and helpful. The day I figure this all out I think I’m going to feel very peaceful.
I hate it so much that you look so good and are completely okay it’s so fucked.